Measuring heart, not height, of civic-minded Special Olympian

     I was steering the lawn mower into the chilly wind and light rain at Katie’s home when I lamented: “I wish she could do this herself.’’

This was Day Three in the elements. On a Monday, I refereed lacrosse through a driving rainstorm in a 30-mph, 40-degree wind. The raindrops clung to my glasses at times, blurring my vision. My game the next day featured a 35-mph wind in 37-degree temperatures with three snow squalls. On Day Three, I hit the trifecta – cutting the grass on a breezy, 45-degree day amid misty rain.

    Aaaargh. Kathleen Barbara Holleran, I wish you could cut your own lawn, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. You simply don’t have the dexterity and awareness to drive a lawn mower, evade protruding roots, and plot a geometric strategy for straight lines as well as nooks and crannies around the house.

   I knew this since you were a 15-year-old. Your brother Liam, younger by 6 years, did not. He gave you false hope when he announced one day from the back seat of the van, “Next year, Katie will be old enough to drive, and she can take us places.’’

   (Insert game-show buzzer here.)

    So as not to crush her spirit, in the front seat, we quickly devised the 5-foot-rule. “Sorry, Katie, but New York State law requires you to be 5 feet tall to drive.’’

   Phew. She bought it. It was a gentle way to preserve her spirit.

   I thought about taking her to a mall parking lot on a Sunday night and putting her behind the wheel, just to give her the sensation of controlling the wheel and gas pedal, but she never asked so I let it go.

   Transportation is a big deal for developmentally challenged adults. They can’t borrow dad’s keys and take off for the beach or hang out at a friend’s house. This is not “Life Goes On’’ in Hollywood where Chris Burke’s character (Corky Thatcher) hops in a car with his Down syndrome girlfriend and she drives them around town.

   The state permits Down syndrome adults to drive, just like any other teen who has the judgment, intelligence, reaction time and visual acuity to pass the written and driving tests. But the instances are rare.

    Kathleen mavourneen (my darling in Gaelic) loves parties, movies, dinners and dancing just as much as anyone. These gatherings are unmitigated joy for Katie and her work and school pals because they happen so sporadically.

   Getting there is always an issue. We have to ensure we are in town without conflicting appointments, or that we coordinate within work hours of her support staff or other parents. At pickup time, we have to wait – you would think your shoes will go out of style – while she says goodbye to everyone at a dance. Finally, she emerges from the ballroom, dripping in sweat from dancing every dance.

   Life has been good since Kathleen entered the world at 6 pounds, 4 ounces, 19.5 inches in November 1985. We learned to celebrate every milestone Katie achieved through our early intervention team of Barb (speech), Pattie (occupational therapy) and JoAnne (general educator).

  When Katie learned to roll over at six months, we panicked one afternoon when we thought we had lost her in our own home. She had rolled from the living room, the length of the apartment, obscuring herself beneath the table cloth of the dining room table.

  When Barb suggested sign language as a bridge to verbal speech, we hesitated, but trusted her. Within days, Katie was signing “more’’ to get her dose of Cheerios. Within a year, Katie dropped the signs and hasn’t stopped talking since.

    All her classes and work experiences prepared her for independent living. She completed two years of post-high school classes and on-the-job training at the University of Rochester. She contributes to the local economy with a full-time job, paying for rent, haircuts, and groceries, and going shopping. She competes in Special Olympics at the state level in snowshoeing and gymnastics. She is a regular at Sunday Mass and helps me make and give away apple pies. She volunteers to serve food and wash dishes at the church supper program. She is a doting aunt to a niece and nephew, and a godmother to her youngest cousin.

  She may not drive, but she is living the good life. I just remeasured her for a sudden growth spurt. Nope, she remains 4-foot-9, still not ready to drive. But the glass is half full, not half empty.

        Morristown native Jim Holleran is a retired teacher and sports editor from Rochester. Reach him at jimholleran29@gmail.com or view past columns under “Reflections of River Rat’’ at https://hollerangetsitwrite.com/blog/