Super Bowl controversies used to be so simple back in my newspapering days. Thirty years ago, the Buffalo Bills reached the Roman Numeral Extravaganza for four consecutive seasons, and each year the letdown grew bigger and bigger. Bills fans still wear “Wide Right’’ like a scarlet letter.
Twenty years ago, a national TV audience endured Nipplegate when Janet Jackson’s right breast was exposed during her halftime performance with Justin Timberlake.
Perhaps this was the start of the Internet conspiracy theory movement. Commentators whined – “Timberlake planned it. He was trying to get back at his ex-girlfriend Britney Spears for kissing Madonna. A celebrity stylist played a clandestine role.’’
It was all mind-numbing, and as tedious and pretentious as converting LVIII to 58.
Back in the day, stadium barkers insisted you couldn’t tell the players without a scorecard. Now fast forward to this age of JumboTrons in which every name, number and video clip flashes before your eyes. Even more numbing is the Internet, where conspiracy theories thrive, where we make instant authors and opinion makers out of thousands who would have trouble spelling cat if you spotted them the “C’’ and the “T.’’
Scorecards won’t do. You need a platform as vast and mindless as the Internet to hold all the controversies and conspiracy theories:
Taylor Swift: When the billionaire pop star and Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce agreed that he’ll be the prince and she’ll be the princess, political conservatives were irked. The conspiracy theories bubbled up from the deep recesses of narrow minds — her concerts were Satanic; she sported rainbow colors of the LGBTQ+ movement; the NFL was marketing her relationship with Kelce; Traylor would endorse President Biden over their beloved Trump.
TV networks rode the ratings boost among younger fans by training cameras on Swift in luxury boxes at Chiefs games. When she chugged a beer at the Super Bowl with her best friend, designer and stylist Ashley Avignone, right-wing crackpots like Laura Loomer went bonkers.
“Gross,’’ she posted. “We don’t need to be glorifying public intoxication. Imagine being a parent and saying this woman is a role model for your daughter. … I prefer my icons to be like Donald Trump: SOBER.’’
His scorecard reads six bankruptcies, three wives, E. Jean Carroll, Stormy Daniels, four criminal cases pending and $438 million in civil penalties. If he’s an icon, I’m James Joyce, Shakespeare, and Woodard and Bernstein all rolled into one.
Travis Kelce: Commentators insisted he issue a public apology for bumping Coach Andy Reid and screaming at him to reinsert him into the game when the Chiefs offense faltered.
Reid said it wasn’t “a selfish thing,’’ then added: “He caught me off balance …’’
One wag labeled it “assault.’’ Another compared it to Happy Gilmore brawling with Bob Barker.
Before kickoff, Kelce arrived at Allegiant Stadium wearing a bejeweled suit. Wrote Pizzagate conspiracy theorist Jack Posobiec: “Straight men do not dress like this.’’
Hmmm? Better stick with that whopper that Democratic officials were a running child sex ring from a Washington pizzeria.
Black national anthem: Reba McEntire twanged the “The Star-Spangled Banner’’ and Post Malone sang “America the Beautiful,’’ but how dare the NFL include Andrea Day delivering “Lift Every Voice and Sing.’’ In a league where 56 percent of players are black, right-wingers felt the struggle of African Americans should have been excluded.
“They’re desecrating America’s national anthem by playing something called the ‘Black National Anthem,’ ” Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) wrote on X. He asserted that he and his wife would not watch the game because of the song’s performance.
Chimed in former Fox News commentator Megyn Kelly: “The so-called Black National Anthem does not belong at the Super Bowl. We already have a national anthem and it includes EVERYONE.”
We also have a Constitution that counted slaves as three-fifths of a person, so not everyone.
My congressman: Joe Morelle (D-NY 25th District) is peeved with the NFL for not airing the sign language interpretation of the national anthem. Daniel Durant graduated from the National Technical Institute for the Deaf in Rochester and appeared in the Oscar-winning film CODA. After his introduction, Durant disappeared from the CBS broadcast. Morelle expressed “extreme disappointment’’ that the NFL and CBS “are more interested in appearing to do the right thing than actually doing the right thing.’’
Quick hitters:
* Uber Eats got dinged for mocking peanut allergies in its ad.
* The Far Right assailed Kelce for endorsing Covid vaccines, saying he was lying to the American people.
* The “He Gets Us’’ ads promoting peace and inclusion were criticized by the right as “too woke.’’
Me: I’m upset that the Bills can’t get past the Chiefs, let alone win a Super Bowl. At least spring training has started and Cleveland baseball beckons. I remembered Cleveland hasn’t won a World Series since 1948.
Turn it around Guardians or I’ll ask Taylor Swift to write a break-up song.
Morristown native Jim Holleran is a retired teacher and sports editor from Rochester. Reach him at jimholleran29@gmail.com or view past columns under “Reflections of River Rat’’ at https://hollerangetsitwrite.com/blog/
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