I was trolling through Facebook when I spotted my longtime friend Robin Dulmage coaching a Morristown basketball game. Call her Snow White because that is what happened to her hair.
Wow, I mused, she has changed.
Moments later, my computer dinged and two photos arrived from an old newspaper friend who shot pictures at the game I had reffed. When I spotted him on the sideline, I wisecracked: “Try and capture the vapor trails coming off me.’’
There were no jets, only an old guy (66) in a black and white-striped uniform with snow white hair. Wow, I mused, I’ve changed.
We’re not talking gray or silver. It appears I shampooed with Sherwin Williams Highly Reflective White paint.
What has happened to us?
My wife, the marketing/communications guru, informed me that harsh gymnasium lights make your hair seem whiter. I checked photos and it was true for Robin. She retains some gray. I’m hoping the same for myself. “Good luck with that,’’ cracked the communications guru.
The scientific explanation is that melanocyte stem cells, which live at the base of our hair follicles, disappear with age. The hair that grows from those follicles loses pigmentation. Gradually, our hair fades from its natural color to gray to silver to (insert gasp here) white.
“I feel that nothing about my white hair limits me or enhances me,’’ said Dulmage, who guides the JV girls team. “It is just a state of the mind. I am very comfortable being gray/white. I’m going to be 64 in March. That is a lot of trips around the sun.’’
Gosh, weren’t we just 40 a few years ago with perhaps some streaks of gray?
Usually, Caucasians go gray in their mid-30s and Asians in their late-30s. Blacks have it slightly better, tending toward gray in their mid-40s. Generally, half of all people developed a significant amount of gray hair by 50.
There are plenty of suspected causes – smoking, excessive drinking, vitamin deficiencies and stress. Hmm? I have never smoked, take a daily vitamin and endure little stress. Guinness Stout, regardless if my friend calls it motor oil, never restored the tint to my mane. And I rarely drink anymore.
The key factor, medical experts say, is stress. Dulmage agreed, saying stress built 20-plus years ago after her husband, David, died and she underwent multiple surgeries.
“As an operating engineer, with the last 20 years as a crane operator, it was very stressful in a male-dominated trade with a lot of disrespect every day,’’ she said.
She recalled the constant disagreements over safety rules.
“Men think they are exempt from rules and certainly do not want a woman telling them no.’’
So she has retired to coach school sports, currently JV girls basketball. I know that landscape. Parents who don’t know the rules are frequently bellyaching from the stands. Young coaches have yet to learn to focus on their players rather than trying to referee the game to fit their bias. Student athletes even F-bomb calls.
“I have been told numerous times that, ‘You are too old school. You expect too much,’ ” Dulmage said.
Dulmage refers to her head of hair as dominated by “wisdom highlights.’’
“When I subbed for BOCES, little kids would come up and hug me,’’ she recalled. “Some would call me Grandma so I believe white hair denotes caring and listening.’’
It could be worse. Marie Antoinette, the last queen before the French Revolution in 1793, has a condition named after her. Legend has it that her hair turned white on the eve of her trip to the guillotine at age 37. The sudden change was dubbed Marie Antoinette Syndrome.
My old newspaper colleague from Cleveland resembles a character from “Tuck Everlasting.’’ In this children’s novel, 10-year-old Winnie Foster falls in love with Jesse Tuck, the teenager who drank from a magic spring and never showed signs of aging.
Call my photographer pal “Chuck Everlasting.’’ Chuck Crow was on deadline for 45-plus years, the last 20 shooting the Cleveland Indians (now Guardians). He might have one, possibly two gray hairs. He ranks among the 1 percent of 70-year-olds without gray hair.
His wife, Terry, tells everyone he dyes his hair. After that, he said, few people believe he doesn’t.
His secret? He doesn’t worry about much, looks in the mirror only long enough to straighten his ballcap, and dotes on his two children and two grandchildren.
“I guess I don’t give a hoot about a lot of things,’’ Crow said. “I don’t let outside news worry us, and I do try to stay active.’’
“My father was late getting gray hair so I think this is hereditary,’’ he said. “My younger brother Marty was completely white/gray in his early 50s and pissed about it, but he was 6-foot-3 so I told him tough luck!’’
Morristown native Jim Holleran is a retired teacher and sports editor from Rochester. Reach him at jimholleran29@gmail.com or view past columns under “Reflections of River Rat’’ at https://hollerangetsitwrite.com/blog/
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